I have such a love hate relationship with the army. I miss it every single day. I struggle every day living in a military community and seeing everybody, including my husband, wear the uniform that I no longer get to. I feel caught between two things. I never deployed, so I constantly feel like I never really served, and yet I am severely disabled by my time in service, and so I feel like I should still be able to call myself a veteran, because I sure sacrificed a lot.

 

 

 

And then I’m angry, because three years later the army is still messing with my life. I didn’t get a job because they couldn’t get me the correct papers needed for veteran’s preference. (Apparently my dd214, Separation orders, and proof of disability weren’t enough.) I really needed this job, as I can no longer just go out and work anywhere. Some days I’m in a wheelchair. Some days I have to wear braces all over my body. Some days I have temperature regulation issues.

This job would have fit that niche that I need, and I really really needed it to be able to support my family. The VA? I’m being told five to seven years before that might kick in, and I have to track down all 48 doctors that have seen me, acquire all of their office notes, and manually scan them into a computer, (That’s over 2000 pages). I just didn’t imagine that three years later I would still be so angry, still be so f***ed, and above it all, still want to be a part of it so badly.